Learn And Response

Learn And Response  for critical Investigation

1) Type up your level and comments from your first draft.


Page 1 

• Can we phrase this better, perhaps in terms of power? 

• Very clumsy, This needs to be clearly set out what your essay is going to investigate. 

• The topic sentence needs work, it should always relate to the question.

• Is this worthy of further discussion? Is this the only criteria for success in grime financial? 

• Another topic sentence that doesn't make sense.  

Page 2

• The change within their budgets for their music videos.

• As they are now conducting large budget music videos.

Page 3

• WWW - You have used many good examples.

• EBI - Try to use more on their representation.

Page 4

• Social. 

• Audience Reference.

• Level 3. 

Page 5

WWW

• Used good examples of critical debates.

• Clear understanding (Varied). 

• good examples of topic.

EBI 

• Need to expand on the debates and explain.

• Add more debates and media language.

Footnotes

WWW 

• Showed a good amount of research 

EBI

• Need more footnotes 

• Correct errors in the footnotes 

• Write good footnotes properly 

Bibliography

Format

• Shouldn't be underlined

• Need more books and journals 

WWW

• Arrange at websites.

EBI

• Need more journals and books. 

• Take everything off underlined.

Feedback from Mr Hasely

Level 2 

2) Write what level/grade you are aiming for in your second draft.

In the first critical investigation I got a grade Level 2. Therefore for my second draft i am aiming to move up to a grade to level 3. 

3) Write a numbered list of five things you will do or change for your second draft that will help you get there. Be specific and explain in detail.

• Gain more quotes to use in my critical investigation.

• Use more quotes from books.

• expand my bibliography.

• Correct my footnotes. 

• Expand in detail on my debates. 

4) Write a minimum three-point 'wish list' for the BFI Library trip - what do you specifically want to take away from the BFI in terms of issues, theories or particular sections of your essay?

• British urban culture 

• Hip Hop culture 

• X factor Grime relation

• British class 

A2 Production

For my A2 media production I decided to work with Stefan and Harvey the reasons for this is that the critical investigation we had conducted has a linked with each others therefore we decided that it would be best for us to work together also making it easier as the work load will be less. Also another reason in which we decided to work together for our production was that we had precious worked together last year for our AS production therefore as we had worked well as a team we then decided that it would be best if we were to work together again this year. What we had decided to create for our production is a intro.
 to a movie. The genre of the movie we were looking to create was a Sci  fi movie which will contain to undercover detectives who are looking to stop drug crime in London. one of the detectives will be able to read minds where the other will is a robot.